SMALL TALK

“Small talk” has its own little niche in ACS interactions. It tends to be more engaged than “matter-of-fact” interactions (see previous post), even while it can be ridiculously repetitious, dealing with gas prices, the weather, cars, etc. But it also tends to have less humor and edge than “easy banter” (see previous post).

It’s the kind of interaction that I have at times viewed as “too superficial” or have said that I’m really not very good at it, because “I want real sharing”, or some shit like that.

It is getting clear to me at the gas station that this kind of “small talk” is the lubricant that keeps some relationships, at least (maybe lots of relationships, not just at the gas station) moving along. (In the song “It’s a Wonderful World”, there’s the line that goes, “I see friends shakin’ hands, sayin’ ‘How do you do?’ What they’re really sayin’ is ‘I love you’.”)

I am getting better at small talk – and I am seeing clearly its value. Much of the time, it’s what saves us from just standing there, awkwardly looking at each other. Awkwardness can trigger shyness, which can trigger avoidance. Small talk smoothes things, makes them comfortable. It’s actually pretty good stuff.