PRETEND THEY’RE BEING NICE

I have (some of the time) recently been trying a new strategy that has been (some of the time) working for me when a customer is being rude, curt, abrupt, dismissive, impatient or some other form of obnoxious.

I just ignore this bad-customer behavior and pretend they are actually being nice. In a way, I am dismissing their impatience, etc. This (when it works) immediately chills out my own emotional reaction and makes the interaction way less stressful for me. Sometimes I will even tell myself, “This is not how they really want to be” or “This is not who they really are.”

And I am continually surprised at how often the customer then changes their behavior – not usually on the spot, but after they have gone off to pump their gas, get their driver’s license (to go with a check), etc. They amazingly come back nice.

Is it because I did not match their emotionally worked-up tone, which then gave that upset vibe no place to go, nothing to feed off of? Or when I look past their defensive or aggressive behavior to the real human being beneath that, does this somehow get through to them and allow that better person (who I believe is more truly who they are) to emerge?

And, if they don’t change, but continue to be obnoxious, I know that our interaction is going to take at most a minute or two – then they will be gone and out of my hair. I would way rather let their stuff just roll off my back, so I can get on to the next person, who is likely to be genuinely nice – rather than carry this toxic energy with me after this toxic person has left.